I am a poser (You see, I just used the term 'poser'. How out of touch can one man be?)

I live in The Woodlands, Texas. I know, I know, you're reading 'Hell, Texas' in my profile. Well, that's a relative equivalent. This is a place encased in a shroud of imported evergreens, marked by Disney World-like signs that indicate how much it costs to live in a certain subdivision. Our main attraction is the frigging mall, a suburban church often flooded by Hollister-clad children with a leash of money dragging their parents behind them.

Now, what is a self-centered, faux-intellectual with a crippling reliance on hyphens to do in this sort of environment? Read books at the local Barnes and Noble? Write pages of banal thoughts at a Starbucks competitor? Yes, of course! I'll look down on the affluent! I'll curse the overprivileged!

I'll wear a jacket on a seventy degree day.

I'm so sorry. Self-deprecation is an act of vanity in itself, so, I'm sorry. Athos, Peter, Leftclawnorth a.k.a. Black Medusa, you guys are true friends. If you guys ever want to talk about your troubles, please, please call me. I am a willing and ready sounding board. I hope to see all of you in the near future. It's very lonely down here, as you can tell.