"I want my vehicle, my saucer shaped coffin. I'm Mighty Pro-Jet, I'm Baron Von Richtofen."

Ever wondered how to make creme brulee? No? Well, listen anyway. I'm in a really bad mood. Preheat your oven to 350.

This will serve 1 selfish person:

1 egg yolk
1 tablespoon plus 1/2 teaspoon of sugar

Beat them together in a bowl.

4 tablespoons of heavy cream
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon of milk

Scold this. That means bring it to a calm boil.

Now, temper the egg mixture. Mix almost a teaspoon of the cream mixture in the egg mixture so you can then put the rest in the bowl without curdling it too much. Keep mixing, Turd Captain.

Get a ramekin. A tiny round bowl, basically. Put your major-fun-time-egg-cream-thingy in there. Get a larger baking dish and put your ramekin inside of it. Fill the baking dish with water until it's a bit more than halfway up the ramekin. Put that in your oven.

20-30 mintures will pass depending on how funny your oven is (Yes, ovens do have a sense of humor). By then the 'thing' should be just a little jiggly. Go ahead. Shake and make sure. Shake!

Now put it in the 'fridge. You know what, nevermind. Get some brown sugar and sprinkle it over. Turn on your broiler and put it under. Watch it until it bubbles and get it out of there.

Know what you have now? Your mother's malformed face. Goodnight.